Chronic pain. I don’t often talk about it because well, I’m used to it now and it doesn’t “define me”. I have that attitude of, “it could always be worse right?” So I don’t like to be dramatic (I can be very dramatic, I have to pick and choose my moments okay).
It’s easy to get sick and tired of being sick and tired.
So what does it feel like? It’s kind of a two parter for me. Part one is I get throbbing discomfort and aching pain. It’s not like a shooting pain, it’s a consistent and disruptive ache. I have to toss and turn until it goes away (or take medicine). Hence, I’m forever tired. Part two is the physical touch. My skin doesn’t look any different, it just hurts to touch. When it hurts, I don’t like hugs or if I put on really tight high waisted jeans it hurts my hips. Even now writing this my lower back is aching🔥
I wanted to become more active in hope that it would help my chronic pain and mental health, so 2 weeks ago I started running. I didn’t think it would be me but I love it! It was going great. I felt motivated and fab! Until 4 days ago. Long story short, I was ready to go but my body no. I’m currently in A LOT of PAIN, my legs are weak AF & keep buckling on me . I’ve spoken to my doctor and I have to stop running for now. Naturally, because of my injuries, it’s going to take me a lot longer than your average person to become more active.
We have to learn to walk before we can run.
It’s a tough pill to swallow and incredibly frustrating, especially approaching my third year of recovery, but I am determined. I may not be able to run but I can walk. One foot in front of the other x
ELLE MURPH 