26 November 2017
As I near the one year mark since my accident, I thought I would write a post on it.
The resulting injuries as diagnosed,
Road traffic accident with multiple injuries
Closed fracture of acetabulum
Closed fracture multiple ribs
Liver laceration
Traumatic brain injury
Stable pelvic fracture
Intraventricular haemorrhage
Right lower lobe PE
Somehow I came away with my life. For that, I am forever thankful.
It’s one year later and I’m still struggling with the effects of my TBI. I have felt an entire range of emotions: anger, rage, fear, sadness, anxiety, hope, joy, frustration, contentment. I struggle with crowded places. I get confused easily. I forget things in seconds, but can remember them days later. I am up and down emotionally like a rollercoaster. I am exhausted. I grab for words that seem to have disappeared into thin air. I am aware I have mood swings. I have anxiety attacks. I have some really good days and I have some really bad days. I’m human.
People make assumptions that I must be fine because I have an “invisible injury” and they see me constantly working. What they don’t see is the pain and exhaustion at the end of the day. The jelly legs. The packets of medication. The hot water bottles. The massages. The physiotherapy. The doctor visits.
Now, I am not telling you all of this to make you feel pity for me. Far from it. I want each and every one of you to understand that invisible illness are very real. Next time a person is walking a little too slowly in front of you, or you find yourself getting frustrated keep repeating yourself, please, have some grace. Everyday the journey gets easier, but there’s a very real chance it will never completely go away.
I am eternally grateful for the emergency services. I am SO grateful for my family and friends who were by my side the whole time. I am grateful for the nurses/assistants who helped me when I needed it, their positive attitudes, continually reassuring me that I would get through this and it does get better. The universe has given me more than I thought I was capable of handling, only to prove to me that I am a lot stronger than I ever thought. I have learned to slow down and know that everything really will be okay. I know that everything happens for a reason and there is a reason the universe wanted me to experience this. I am grateful for the lessons I have learnt/am learning from this. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. When the going gets tough, really tough, you gotta keep on going!
ELLE MURPH 