Writing a blog post about how to deal with perfectionism and the pressure to be perfect feels hypocritical. However, this is something I have struggled with for a long time now and I’m hoping that by throwing this out into the universe that it might help.
The reality is that striving for perfection holds us back. We spend so much time doing, striving, achieving in an endless quest to get it all ‘perfect’ and we end up missing out on what life is really about: being in each moment and experiencing life where we are, as we are.
It definitely became a problem that grew as I started physically recovering from my accident. Cleaning helps me forget EVERYTHING. Forgetting the bad and my worries became addictive and soon a compulsion. It’s exhausting. Everything has to be neat and clean or else – else I’d be out of control, scared and overwhelmed.
Perfectionism saves me from drowning, but it doesn’t help me to swim. I’m treading water, staying safe and desperately trying to control my reality, which is never truly possible. I still long for and grieve the part of me that I lost that night. Deep down, I feel inadequate, insecure and not enough and subconsciously I’ve decided that if I can just achieve perfection with myself then I will finally feel the deep love and inner acceptance I long for inside myself. But the truth is – and we all know it! There’s no such thing as perfect! No amount of cleaning n tidying is going to stop the next bad thing from happening.
‘You’re imperfect and you’re wired for struggle but you are worthy of love and belonging.’
So this is me surrendering. Accepting where I’m at right now and in any moment, knowing that I am a work in progress.
Challenge your inner critic. Does it really matter? What is the worst that could happen? If the worst does happen, can I survive it? Will this still matter tomorrow? Next week? Next year?
Prioritise self care. Instead of thinking ‘I’ll take some time off when it feels right’, go the extra step and schedule relaxation. Take better care of yourself.
Trust that it will all get done in time.