I am guilty. As much as I preach therapy and the benefits of it, there is something that I really struggle with: self compassion.
I often hear the voice of self critisism chattering away in my head filling me with self doubt. My sense of worthiness takes a nose dive within a matter of seconds of hearing the words “you’re not good enough”, “you can’t do it” or “you’re such an idiot”. I feel like I’m on a constant rollercoaster ride with the end result of anxiety, insecurity and depression. Often, I’ll push through all the noise just to try and prove self critisism’s not right. It’s just the words distract me, slow me down.. it exhausts me. It’s not easy to shake off this negative thought process and I know, deep deep down, these words are not true – just stories about the things I fear and not the truth about who I am or what I am capable of. I hope to develop my very own “kind” voice so that I can see things in a clearer, more balanced way, to help me remember that no one is perfect and to be kind and understanding to myself.
Self compassion helps us to build more positive feelings that balance out our fears. Everyone can benefit from a bit more self compassion. It’s not really something you can have too much of.
Building self compassion
- Be aware of your pain, whatever that may be.
- Understand that whilst feeling this pain is hard, this is a normal human experience, you’re not failing and you are not alone.
- Direct feelings of kindness and care towards yourself, just as you might to someone else you care about who is struggling.
- Finally, focus your attention and energy on how to improve your own pain and move through the struggle you are facing.
We can learn to feel good about ourselves not because we’re special and above average, but because we’re human beings worthy of respect. Love yourself. Ps. you cannot fail as long as you keep working at it.♡